Food for thought

Finally got my rear back into the real gym today; nothing insane, a mile on the elliptical (hills program, level 5), 2 miles on the stationary bike (hills program, level 4), chest press, and some pec fly variations - all done in the sweltering heat of a muggy Virginia spring/summer afternoon, in a room that has zero ventilation. Poor Liam was drenched in sweat from playing solo in the kiddie corral in that same room.

Anyways, as with any gym, there are the standard floor to ceiling mirrors so that one can ogle themselves (or others if that's your thing) while on the cardio machines. Since I was actually wearing shorts today, I was watching my quads and hamstrings while on the elliptical and bike. I'm pretty disgusted by the state of affairs my legs have found themselves in these days. There's no real definition between hams and glutes anymore, and my quads look soft; almost pillowy. There's still the faint line between quads and hamstrings, and the slight outline of my calves, but overall my legs are a freaking mess.

On the plus side, I've managed to stay close to my calorie budget every day, while still somewhat indulging my pregnancy wants/needs/cravings. I don't know if I'll head back to the OB in a few weeks and maintain my 1 lb/4week weight gain streak (meaning I don't know if I'll be able to pull that off again), but if I can keep my total pregnancy weight to <180 I think I'll be ok. That would leave me with about 10 or 15 lbs to take care of instead of, oh say 30? like last time?
I also picked up (and took) my iron meds today, we'll see if that actually makes a difference in how I feel or if it will only show on blood tests. Bah, stupid pills.

I've been thinking about my ultimate goal of competition, and call it nerves, chickening out, etc etc etc... but I'm considering choosing a competition, preparing for it like I'm actually a contender, and then going and just watching it. For now anyways. It occurred to me the other day that I haven't actually been to a body building competition, amateur or otherwise, and I think it would be unwise to enter a competition without having at least seen one in person!

I'm also having trouble getting past the issue of not having anyone to watch the kids while I train the necessary hours or even while I'm at the competition (either watching or participating). Sean will be deployed for an extended period of time, and I have to take that into consideration. I just don't have the right kind of support system, nor do I want to be an inattentive parent. The kids will already be missing their father, is it really fair to make them go without their mother as well? Especially since its completely optional and for recreation purposes?

In addition to training for, and viewing the competition; I'm toying with the idea of doing some kind of professional photo shoot after I've achieved my goals. There are no pictures of me that I can actually be proud of, and that's definitely not for lack of a good photographer. I want to get some done that not only capture the accomplishments that I will have made, but also something that I can use to help my business. Would you really want an unfit/unattractive trainer (at first glance anyways)?